Amsterdam, The Netherlands, Travel

Friends

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Friends are not easy to find.  Being forgiving is important in every friendship but you also must have standards and expectations, don’t settle in friendships.  I’ve been living in LA seven years and it has been very very lonely.  I’ve been so desperate for friends that I’ve settled in so many ways.  The first five years I settled for a group of girls that wouldn’t talk to me when I hung out with them, they made it very clear that I wasn’t one of them and I was just invited to fill space.  I felt it, I knew it, I hated it, but I felt like I had to make myself hang with them for the purpose of having friends.  When those friendships finally ended, which they were way over due, it surprised me how little I cared, how little I thought about them, how little they mattered, I even started forgetting their names.  It surprised me because I am a very sensitive person and I take everything to heart, but with these girls I just felt relieve.  This was confirmation that I had been settling, I should’ve been ok with being alone instead of wasting my time with them.  When I finally decided that they weren’t worth my time anymore I quickly found new and better friends, letting go of them opened the door to something good.

I have new friends, I can count them all in one hand, but these friends are people that I admire and respect.  They unknowingly inspire me in ways that I never thought I could be inspired.  My new friends are generous, caring, giving, and thoughtful.  They have good hearts, I like being around them and learning from them.  I don’t feel jealousy or a sense of competition like I have many times before.  I genuinely feel happy for everything good that happens to them and although I may not be super close to them I am so glad to have them in my life.

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